Not Here

 I'm not sure how much more I can take,

I don't wanna live like this,

like a slave,

bound and scared,

living in constant fear of the nuclear bomb, 

that the grenades lead up to.


I can't seem to do anything right,

at least not in their eyes,

I'm never good enough, 

don't think I ever will be either.


I can't live in constant fear,

lies,

faking,

of pain.


I don't want this,

I can't be happy,

I just can't be.

I can't get better,

never will,

at least not here.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Thoughts

 The Thoughts never leave me, They don't disappear, I'm not sure they ever will. The Thoughts stay, And rest, In the nest they've made, Inside my head. They are everlasting, These thoughts. They fill my head with nonsense, "You're not good enough.", "People are better without you.", "Nobody cares.", The Thoughts tell me these,  And much more. I am afraid that I'll lose myself, In these thoughts, And I am afraid that I won't return. I am afraid, Of these thoughts, of the emotions, Of asking for help, And, Of not getting help. Sometimes, The Thoughts overwhelm me, And I seem to lose control, Lost in space, Without a home. They make me feel uneasy, Uncertain, Confused, Lost, Hopeless, Afraid. I feel as if I'm drowning,  Falling, Deeper, And deeper, And even deeper, Into a pit of never ending water. Yes, I am drowning, Although,  I get a breath, As I enter that one place of peace. It may not last, But it's a break for the strugg...
Read more