The Thoughts

 The Thoughts never leave me,

They don't disappear,

I'm not sure they ever will.

The Thoughts stay,

And rest,

In the nest they've made,

Inside my head.

They are everlasting,

These thoughts.

They fill my head with nonsense,

"You're not good enough.",

"People are better without you.",

"Nobody cares.",

The Thoughts tell me these, 

And much more.

I am afraid that I'll lose myself,

In these thoughts,

And I am afraid that I won't return.

I am afraid,

Of these thoughts,

of the emotions,

Of asking for help,

And,

Of not getting help.

Sometimes,

The Thoughts overwhelm me,

And I seem to lose control,

Lost in space,

Without a home.

They make me feel uneasy,

Uncertain,

Confused,

Lost,

Hopeless,

Afraid.

I feel as if I'm drowning, 

Falling,

Deeper,

And deeper,

And even deeper,

Into a pit of never ending water.

Yes,

I am drowning,

Although, 

I get a breath,

As I enter that one place of peace.

It may not last,

But it's a break for the struggle that we call life,

And this break,

This breath, 

I'd be dead without it.

I walk into my team,

Smiles on their faces,

And I am finally,

Home.

The Thoughts,

They lessen,

And I can swim again,

With less struggle.

My team,

My song,

My break,

My breath for air,

My escape,

My Dance.